Dumb Blond
by mew-tsubaki
Summary: Oneshot, light slash. In which Kagami frets, the Kiseki no Sedai go on a small adventure, Kise is his usual stupid self, and Akashi is a Soldier of Love. *protective!GoM, light Kikasa, light Kagakuro*


**Dumb Blond**

A Kuroko no Basuke oneshot

by mew-tsubaki

Note: The _Kuroko no Basuke_ characters belong to Fujimaki Tadatoshi-sensei, not to me. Because Kikasa is _adorkable_, and so are the Kiseki. XD Read, review, and enjoy!

- ^-^3

So that had done it. Seirin finally toppling the kings of Rakuzan and winning the Winter Cup almost seemed to reset the Kiseki to their factory settings, and they were getting along again. Kuroko and Aomine were closer than before (much to Kagami's chagrin, though Kuroko kept telling the redhead that he had nothing to worry about), Midorima had lightened up by a fraction, Murasakibara was finally enjoying basketball as well as snacks with his oldest friends, and Akashi seemed almost as though he was pre-Emperor Eye—the good Akashi—again.

Except there was _one_ little problem:

"I am calling an emergency meeting of the Kiseki no Sedai," Akashi's text said shortly after the end of the school year. "Attendance is required. My authority is absolute."

Only Kuroko had dared to text back: "Akashi-kun, I thought you were working on not being 'absolute.'"

The reply? "Of course, Tetsuya. But it would be nonsense to change how I interact with my friends. We have grown closer anyhow."

Kuroko gave up trying to carry on the argument then.

Kagami felt anxious about letting Kuroko go on his own to meet Akashi and the others, though. "Considering what happened the last time you guys convened…," the ace mumbled. He absentmindedly rubbed his cheek where Akashi's scissors had sliced him.

"That was a different Akashi-kun," Kuroko insisted. "Plus he was expecting only Kiseki." He gave his friend a rare but warm smile which grabbed Kagami's attention. "Please don't worry about me, Kagami-kun. I'll be fine."

"…all right. But text me every once in a while to keep me updated. I wonder why he wants everyone together again…"

"You're a mother hen, Kagami-kun."

"What! Sh-shut up!"

"Kiyoshi-senpai would be proud."

"_Kuroko_!"

- ^-^3

As per the next part of Akashi's strange request, the Kiseki met at the train station in Kanagawa prefecture. Yet to Kuroko's surprise, they were missing one member.

"Where's Kise-kun?" Kuroko asked Aomine.

"Hah? How should I know?" The taller blue-haired boy shivered involuntarily. "Still, it's his death sentence, not showing up when Akashi told us to."

"Agreed," Midorima said. "Though Geminis have very good luck today, according to Oha Asa. So perhaps that is why he feels safe enough to defy a direct order."

"Maybe he got hungry and stopped for a snack~" was Murasakibara's reply.

"I believe Ryouta is tempting fate," Akashi stated, announcing himself last once the other four had gathered.

"That's the reason for calling us out here?" Midorima remarked.

"Well, I noticed something during the Winter Cup, Shintaro. We all have the same model of cell phone, do we not? And in our respective colors, no less. Except," he added with narrowed eyes, "for Ryouta. I did not permit this."

They stared at him, Aomine and Midorima the most incredulous. "Are you freaking _kidding_ me?!" Aomine whined. "I got called out here because of a _cell phone_?!"

"Well, that's normally how people reach each other these days, Aomine-kun."

"Tetsu! _NOT_ the time for attempting to crack a joke!"

"Although~" Murasakibara finished his snack before he continued. "It kinda makes you wonder, Kuro-chin, why Kise-chin would have a different phone~"

"Thank you for raising the question, Atsushi," Akashi said. "And he's right. I last saw Ryouta with a black touch phone, not a yellow flip-phone, as expected of him. I want to know why."

"So are we here to question him or something?" Aomine asked as they exited the station.

"Something like that, Daiki."

Midorima pulled away from Akashi a bit. "Akashi…we're not going to _interrogate_ him, are we?"

Akashi smiled, which Kuroko didn't miss, but the short redhead shook his head. "No, Shintaro. He lied to me and told me he was sick. So we're going to follow him today."

"Kise-kun might actually be sick, though," Kuroko feebly protested.

"And stalking is not the answer, Akashi," Midorima added.

But their words fell on deaf ears, and Akashi led the way to Kise's home.

- ^-^3

"We're following Kise-kun today. He didn't show," Kuroko texted Kagami once they were almost there.

"Doesn't the GoM have anything better to do?" Kagami replied.

Kuroko chuckled at the characteristic reply. He tucked his phone in his sweatshirt pocket when Aomine looked over at him curiously.

They reached the Kise family home seconds later and found it was quiet. Knowing how loud Kise could be in the morning, the group of friends went up to the door, and Midorima rang the bell. Kise's mother answered. "Oh, my! Ryouta's old friends!" She fanned herself. It had been a very long time since any of their parents had seen them together.

"Good morning, Kise-san," Midorima said. "If I may ask, is Kise home? We are looking for him."

Her face fell a fraction. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Midorima-kun. You just missed him a few minutes ago. He was leaving to meet with a friend."

"I see." Midorima turned to Akashi. "We should just call it a day, Akashi. Showing up unannounced…"

"This is just a slight change of plans," the point guard said, and he bid farewell to Kise's mother before leading the charge down the street.

Midorima shook his head but followed anyway with the others. "This is nonsense. I could be home studying."

"Studying what? Exams and the school year are over, Shintaro."

"Still…"

Aomine yawned and caught Kuroko texting again. "Question! If we're gonna jump all over Kise over a stupid phone, why hasn't Tetsu been yelled at for not having a black phone?"

"No one said anything about matching the phone with their names, Daiki. Tetsuya's is perfectly acceptable because it matches his pretty blue hair." Akashi even glanced back at the taller boy to give him a look that dared Aomine to challenge him.

"Okay… Whatever," Aomine scoffed.

Conversation died down to the steady noises of their collective footfall and Murasakibara's snacking. It wasn't long before the neighborhood melded into the outer parts of the city. As that was the case, it was beginning to grow tougher to find Kise.

"Ah~ It's Kise-chin~" Murasakibara pointed ahead of them, but they couldn't see what he did.

"Atsushi, lead the way," Akashi ordered, and the giant moved to the head of the pack like a police dog hot on the trail.

Kuroko and Aomine pulled up the rear, and Kuroko sighed. "This is quite ridiculous," the shadow commented.

"You're telling me," Aomine griped.

"And you were looking to get me in trouble, too, Aomine-kun."

Aomine grinned. "Nah, not really. Just curious, is all."

Kuroko gave him a stern look.

Up ahead, Murasakibara called out to Kise. "Hey~ Kise-chin~!" He reached out and grabbed Kise's shoulder—and it was in fact Kise. But the blond wasn't alone.

"Kasamatsu-san," Kuroko noted.

Kise and his former captain, as Kuroko recalled that the senior had just graduated, were stunned to see them. "Ah! Everyone…! Uh…" Kise was at a loss for words.

"Nice to see you," Kasamatsu said calmly, polite as ever. He glanced at Kise. "Kise didn't say anything about seeing you guys today, though…"

"No, I imagine he wouldn't have," Akashi remarked with a smile that was still just a wee bit too threatening. "Even though I _did_ send a group text demanding we all meet today."

Kasamatsu glared at his junior. "Kise! Is that true? Why didn't you tell me? We could've met up later!"

"No…!" Kise ran a hand through his hair. "Ugh, can we go sit somewhere or something?"

"If this will take long, I've gotta call Moriyama and Kobori and tell them I'll be late meeting them," Kasamatsu said as he pulled out his phone.

"Senpai! You said today was meant for me!" Kise cried.

The senior blushed and smacked him upside the head. "Who said that?!" And then he walked away while dialing.

"Senpai…!"

Kuroko and Midorima exchanged a look. "Kise," Midorima began, "about your—"

Akashi smirked as his eyes followed Kasamatsu, shutting up his second-in-command. "I see how it is, Ryouta. Matching cell phones with your senpai? All right."

They all stared at Akashi, Kise the most confused of them all. "_Huh_?"

The emperor dismissed it with a brush of his hand. "I'm not anything if not a sentimentalist."

"No one called you one—" Aomine began, but Kuroko and Midorima shut him up for his own safety.

"Uh, what Akashi means to say," Midorima said, "is that you've never had a yellow phone. Like the rest of us—we're partial to our lucky colors." He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "But you have a black touch phone."

Kise blinked and took it out. "_This_? This isn't even my first phone. I had a red model at the beginning of the school year, but then that broke. So I got my first black one, but that recently broke. So I wanted to get another and suggested to senpai that he get one, too, since his phone was old, and I thought, 'Oh, we should get the same,' and he didn't mind so long as we matched." He beamed. "So now we're going back to the store to buy the few accessories we didn't have time for last time because he had to finish exams and stuff."

"So that's how it is," Midorima observed.

Kise smiled at them. "What is?"

"Kise-chin is on a date~" Murasakibara pointed out.

The copy-cat turned bright red and dithered. "_What_! Murasakibaracchi!"

"I don't believe Kise-kun realized it," Kuroko added, and the others nodded.

"Kurokocchi! Not you, too!" Unfortunately, Kise only got redder.

"If we're done here, can we go?" Aomine asked. "Oi, Tetsu, text your boyfriend. I wanna one-on-one."

"I'll see if Kagami-kun's not busy."

As the Kiseki began to break up, Kasamatsu returned to them. "Kise? Are you already done with your friends?"

Kise was at a loss for words. "I—!"

Akashi tipped his head to the older boy. "We were just taking our leave, Kasamatsu-san." He gestured to Midorima, and they began to leave.

"Enjoy the rest of your date~" Murasakibara added.

Kasamatsu turned to Kise. "What did you tell them?!"

"Just about our phones…!"

"You mentioned the matching thing, didn't you?! Who said he wanted to match! Stupid ace!"

Even without looking, Kuroko could picture Kasamatsu lovingly kicking Kise.

- ^-^3

"So Kise-kun's love for Kasamatsu-san saved him from Akashi-kun's wrath," Kuroko texted Kagami on the way back.

"I'm beginning to think Midorima's fortunes might mean something, then," Kagami answered.

"Oh, and please prepare food for one more tonight."

"Why?!"

"Aomine-kun wants to play basketball. And he knows about us, so please prepare yourself for questions."

" #$%&*!"

- ^-^3

**So…yeah. Something really dumb. And I had to have a little bit of Kagakuro… ;P But I like protective!GoM. And the cell phone thing was bugging me, as much as I love Kise. But he wanted to match with senpai, who's now graduated…! :') And I still think Akashi being a sentimentalist is too much to handle. XD And Ahomine…the only thing he picks up on in the whole thing is Kagakuro, because he wants to play Kagami. I feel I should draw this, though, because this reads more like a short comic… o.o**

**Anyway, thanks for reading, and please review!**

**-mew-tsubaki :]**


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